Sugar and Games — A Winning Combo!

While trick or treating might not look exactly like it has in years past, Halloween in 2020 promises to reward our homebody existence and tenacious, militant hand washing habits with the sweet, sweet nectar it always has: sugar. Specifically, chocolate, caramel, hard candy, wafers and a variety of nougats—many of which have not yet been discovered by science. Celebrate the rapid influx of glucose with a game or two; in fact, sugar and games mix together like sugar and most activities involving fun.

Sugar heightens the senses

Even the best of us have fallen prey to the sugar rush—blood pumping, head pounding, pupils dilating like mad. Though the symptoms resemble that of being mauled by a lion, a sugar rush can do wonders for focus; all that energy must be channeled somewhere. Cram some Kit Kats into your mouth and grab those dice or other game pieces. Manifold strategies reveal themselves like many scenes in A Beautiful Mind—numbers and figures swirl before your very eyes. Roll those dice like they’re the heebie-jeebies forcing their way through your fingertips. Sugar giveth the power, though beware rash decisions brought about by the inevitable crash.

Sugar can help you grow—horizontally

Leave the growth spurts to the teens and seek the not-at-all elusive explosive gut expansion. Too much sugar, particularly of the unprocessed variety, can lead to excessive weight gain—and wouldn’t you know it, that gain congregates around the stomach region. But never fear, this new you serves as a blessing in disguise for gaming. Rest that sucker on the table so it serves as an extension to set a (sugary) drink upon. Ask opponents for favors in exchange for the chance to smack your gut with gusto. Shake it up and down to mesmerize opponents and sway them into making unwise moves (remove shirt for maximum effect and nausea). Who says games can’t be fun?

Sugar helps set game pieces to your preferred color

Treats are usually covered in chocolate or slathered with hard candy shells, which reduces the risk of smearing melted chocolate all over your hands—melts in your mouth, not in your hand, as they say. But throw in a few Skittles and suddenly the swirling concoction of melted food coloring resembles a beautiful tie-dye or a backyard pond during monsoon season: Rainbow colors smudge themselves onto game pieces and cards. White is such a drab color, anyway.

The end of a sugar rush forces a conclusion

It’s a science fact that 99 percent of all games are too long (just ask all your narcoleptic friends!). Truly, aren’t you bored yet? Encourage gaming partners to finally make a bold move by letting the sugar disintegrate from your body and sour the mood faster than a crushed Lemonhead. Sure, you’re agitated and feel like you were hit by a truck carrying a two-ton canister of Nerds, but you’re ALSO unpleasant! Marvel as the game comes to a grinding halt just in time to catch the newest episode of The Floor is Lava and pass out in a pool of your own melted white chocolate. You’ve earned it!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s